I Choose Pretty

Well the juice feast/fast is going well. Today will be my first day of nothing but juice having done a slightly modified program the last 4 days.  I was consuming juice all day and then having a small cooked vegetable dinner and fruit snack.


So far I am loving this journey. I can tell I am losing weight and feeling better. Juicing is so simple too! It's turning out to be a lot of fun!

I am not, however, liking my videos. 

 YUCK! 

I don't know what it is about them, but I am not liking my videos.  I don't know what the hell it is about the way I talk and the way my mouth looks when I talk, but I really hate it.


I know I shouldn't be too critical, but I can't help myself!  Do I really look like that when I talk?  Seriously? Where is my upper lip and why can't you see my top teeth? Does it really look like I have a huge underbite?  I don't have a damn underbite so why am I talking with one?  Grrr.....

*deep breath*

Ok it's just a stupid video and no one is watching them but me and G. at this point so does it really matter?

I made a promise to myself to make some videos documenting my journey so that is what I am doing.  I've never done videos before because they make me really uncomfortable because of my weight.  I don't like being in front of the camera at this weight because I feel that my weight makes me ugly.  I'm not ugly though.  There's the paradox.  I feel that I am both ugly and pretty. 

So which is it?  I'll have to choose.  I choose pretty and beautiful despite those videos. I'm going to keep making them because in the future, I'll be able to look back on them and laugh. 

I choose pretty and beautiful.  What do you choose?

Motivation. I Has It Not Today

Motivation.  I has it not today.

I'm not sure why either.  I imagine my lack of motivation is directly proportional to the fact that I didn't sleep well last night and then I woke up with a bit of a headache.

Anyway...I made a promise to myself a few weeks ago that on days like this instead of checking out for the day and just resting, I would still get up and do something to promote my  business. Today that consists of checking a few of my ad campaigns, doing a bit of promotion on twitter and pinterest and writing this blog (even though I'd rather be taking a nap.)

So on motivation.  There are so many quotes and memes and inspirational books written about motivation that are really great, but really at the beginning or end of the day it's up to us to do what needs to get done. We are the captains of our own destiny and success.  We pilot the boat.  Without us, our boat just sits in the water and we get nowhere.  Ultimately, nothing gets done.

I struggle with motivation quite a bit as I believe many people do.  I think it probably stems from the fact that I am my own boss.  No one is telling me what to do everyday or how to do it.  I don't have to live up to anyone's expectation but my own.  I have to tell me to do things. (ha ha)  I have to be the one to decide what to do and how to do it everyday.  When I am feeling like I do today,  I know I have to stay motivated if I want my business to be successful. I have to kick myself in the ass and get on my computer and do my work despite the fact that I just really do not feel up to it.

So I'm here.  Writing my blog and checking a few things off of one of my master lists.  Eventually, I will lie down and take that nap I so desperately want today.  Later I'll probably read a book or watch a bit of TV. I will enjoy today for what it is and be thankful that I do work from home.