I Choose Pretty

Well the juice feast/fast is going well. Today will be my first day of nothing but juice having done a slightly modified program the last 4 days.  I was consuming juice all day and then having a small cooked vegetable dinner and fruit snack.


So far I am loving this journey. I can tell I am losing weight and feeling better. Juicing is so simple too! It's turning out to be a lot of fun!

I am not, however, liking my videos. 

 YUCK! 

I don't know what it is about them, but I am not liking my videos.  I don't know what the hell it is about the way I talk and the way my mouth looks when I talk, but I really hate it.


I know I shouldn't be too critical, but I can't help myself!  Do I really look like that when I talk?  Seriously? Where is my upper lip and why can't you see my top teeth? Does it really look like I have a huge underbite?  I don't have a damn underbite so why am I talking with one?  Grrr.....

*deep breath*

Ok it's just a stupid video and no one is watching them but me and G. at this point so does it really matter?

I made a promise to myself to make some videos documenting my journey so that is what I am doing.  I've never done videos before because they make me really uncomfortable because of my weight.  I don't like being in front of the camera at this weight because I feel that my weight makes me ugly.  I'm not ugly though.  There's the paradox.  I feel that I am both ugly and pretty. 

So which is it?  I'll have to choose.  I choose pretty and beautiful despite those videos. I'm going to keep making them because in the future, I'll be able to look back on them and laugh. 

I choose pretty and beautiful.  What do you choose?