Beginning of the end or?

The beginning of the end or the end of the beginning.

The hour struck midnight only 10 minutes ago and I should be in my bed, resting my head on my pillow while dreaming of hot naked men whose only aspiration in life is to serve me. Unfortunately, I'm not in my bed although it is nearby. I'm awake and alert and wishing I could force myself to sleep. Sleep, however, is proving to be more elusive than the one sock that always seems to disappear somewhere between the dryer and sock drawer.

Searching for sleep, attempting to make myself tired, I logged into facebook, played a couple of games without accomplishing much, decided maybe I needed to write something for my neglected mob.

Bridget Jones's Diary is on starz. I have a sadistic love/hate relationship with movies such as Bridget Jones. It's a wonderfully entertaining movie with a lot of humorous bits that make you smile, but at the same time it's horribly depressing. Making fun of single people who struggle with being single isn't funny. I know. I am Bridget Jones only I'm not British and I have red hair, not blonde. Movies like this point out that there is something wrong with adults of a certain age who are not 'hooked up', married and what not. Still, they someone give us spinster types hope because they have such happy endings. The spinster always gets her man, her rich, good looking and gentleman-y man. *sigh* If only real life were like these movies, I would be the happiest non-single spinster in the world.

My mind is on other things even though there is a movie playing in the background. One of my guinea pigs jumped out of my arms last week and broke her leg. For the past four days, I've been nursing her back to health. She has a splint and elizabethian collar. Her leg seems to be healing, but what do I know. I'm not a dr. Anyway....I feel pretty bad about her falling. I wish it hadn't happened, but alas, it did. Reality.....it always wins.

My recently widowed neighbor has been out on the prowl recently. He met a woman at a restaurant and went to her house for drinks on Saturday night. I'm happy for him, but at the same time jealous. His wife just died and out he goes to find another love. I wish I could be that way.

School starts a week from this Thursday. I am excited, but racked with anxiety. I have to share my classroom with my teaching partner. I knew this was part of the deal so I shouldn't be feeling anything about it. I am however, more nervous than a long tailed cat in a rocking chair store. I am nervous about the kids and the content. I am nervous about the school and it's administration. I am doubly nervous about having to share space with another teacher. I believe in teamwork and will sometimes bend over backward to maintain peace with others. I've been flexible and gotten taken advantage of as a result. I guess I'm just going to have to deal with my anxiety and stand up for myself in one way or another even if it means I have to give up being the harbinger of peace.

I'm thinking of sleep again. I dream in my wakeful life of it. *sigh* If I could only get to sleep and dream about those men, my life would be stellar.

The beginning of the end or was it the end of the beginning. A new adventure begins tomorrow.