Fu** it.

Sometimes you gotta just go with your heart.

Now I want to get and finish my masters. Of that part I am certain. Dealing with and coping with the program I am in and soon to be out of, was never part of the deal. Yes, I could do it, but do I really want to? No. I don't. I don't plan on teaching public school for my life. I never wanted to before and when I ask myself the question again, I still don't want to.

So why in the hell did I get myself into a program that encompasses teaching middle or high school for a year? Stupidity I tell you. I didn't read the fine print. The program I am in is for licensure...NOT a masters, although the work you do goes towards a masters. How could I have missed this detail?

Who knows. Anyway...I spent all summer in class with my co-hort. It was ok, but again...why did I do this? I don't know. I learned alot and I still want my masters, but this teaching full time with my partner.

No thank you. I've bent over backwards for her. I have given her everything she wants, until this week. Once we moved into our classroom it became apparent that she doesn't care what I want to do. In fact, I confronted her about it and she said that I was right, she doesn't like my ideas. Other things happened as well such as her telling our admin. that I wasn't going to stay on with APS after this year (none of their business). And her insisting that she get one prep and I get 2. Seriously....I am done.

My traw has broken. Fu** it. I am not going to put up with 9 months of "I really don't like or respect you as a human being". I've done it before and to hell with it.

I can't get ahold of our advisor. I am not going to be there tomorrow because as far as I am concerned, I have quit in my mind and heart. I just gotta make it official.

Only crappy part is I have to go get my fishtank because I took it down there in the hopes of having a good, happy and productive year. What a waste of my time and energy. Poor fish. Maybe I will go save them today.