Open Windows

When God closes a door, he opens a window.

On Friday I went to the school that I was supposed to teach at and rescued my fish. See, I had been taking this year seriously and was doing my best to the point that I was going to share my fish with my class. I would have been a hell of a middle school teacher.

Anyway, my ex-partner met my friend and I at the door. She wasn't expecting to see my friend with me. I'm so glad I took my friend with me because it was a 10 minute SAR mission instead of a 1 hour one. For that, I am grateful. I turned in the books, got the fish and got the hell out. My very good friend knew that I was trepedacious about the event because as I said previously, my leaving the program really upset a few people. Amazingly enough, it wasn't as painful or confrontational as I thought it was going to be. I attribute that to my friend being there for me. You gotta appreciate your real friends for moments like this.

After we got the fish, we were talking on the way home and I had a revelation. A moment of truth so to speak. I was free! My heart started to rejoice and I felt like my old self again. I hadn't felt so good in a while!

So my friend and I got home with the fish, squared them away and then went on a mission. We spent the whole afternoon running around to thrift stores looking for a crockpot. We found books and other fun things during our adventure. It was fun!

Now, it's interesting at this point, because all of my friends once I told them that I left the program, all admitted to me that they didn't think my teaching mid school would make me happy. They had kept it to themselves because they wanted to be supportive.

I also made a few phone calls on Friday as well to my old boss and some other opportunities that have been coming in the last few months and low-and-behold, they are all still there. It looks like I am going to be able to 1: work on my masters full time 2: finish my MLT certification 3: tutor and make alot more money with less work 4: work on my business that has been put on hold the last months 5: be happy.

Amazing! I found the open window! What a wonderful thing to find!

I feel somewhat bad about resigning, but it's not a normal bad feeling. I feel bad that I don't feel bad. I should feel much worse, but I don't. I am so happy I quit. I am amazing that I took the initiative and did it, knowing full well that many people were going to be upset with me, most of all my ex-partner.

Looking back though, I spent the better half of the summer frustrated and upset with her for being so ridgid. I wish I had more time to get to know the people in the program before I chose a partner cause I never would have chosen her. She reminds me of so many mean bitches I've worked with before and at this point in my life, I have zero tolerance for them. Also, I think I should have said something to our advisor before it got to the point it did last week. Would it have helped really though? Leopards don't change their spots. They are always leopards.

The good things to come out of all of this though? Me. I am the good thing. Also, I got into grad school as a result. I've just got to change my focus a bit now, but overall, it's a good thing. I'm in school working towards a goal and I am happy.

All hail the open window!