Advice for the day: Never make assumptions

July 28, 2010
Assumption. Never make assumptions cause when assume something, you make an ass (ASS) outta yourself (U) and me (ME). My mother told me this as a child and I think now I’m finally starting to fully understand that concept. Just look at how the word is even spelled. It’s all in there!

I read a book a few years ago called “The Four Agreements” and in it one of the agreements is to never make assumptions about anything, not even yourself. The book is based on Toltec wisdom from the ages. When I first read it, I sort of thought it was just common sense stuff and it is.

Anyway, since I’ve been travelling a lot this year, I got to take a couple of months off this summer and reread “The Four Agreements” again. While out shopping one day, a lady at a shop I frequent recommended the companion book, “The Fifth Agreement”. Anyway, I read the agreements portion of these books a second time, I had an epiphany regarding the first time I had read them. They are very simple books, but very powerful if you open your mind to them. Now, given all the crazy stuff that has gone on in my life over the past 2 years or so, I had somehow actually put them into practice in my life and as a result, my life and my journey had changed. The transformation didn’t happen overnight, mind you, but it did happen. Life was different and it was good.

Life, however, is not perfect and sometimes in times of stress or weakness, I forget to use the wisdom from the Toltec. Yesterday I made an assumption that was so completely unfounded and unsupported by any sort of evidence it wasn’t even funny. Of course, once it was made, I felt awful for the rest of day which was a useless waste of energy.

I had made the assumption that because plans needed to change due to an unforeseen difficulty, the denied visa, that I was getting the boot from the wonderful boyfriend. I know, it is silly, but it’s true! I thought he was cutting me loose because he simply didn’t want to deal with the issue or me or even worse, that he didn’t care about me at all.

Well, I was so wrong that it wasn’t even funny. I made a huge assumption and I was wrong. I wrote my blog yesterday and he read it. After reading it, he sent me a lovely letter. I didn’t get the letter until early this morning. In fact, I wasn’t even going to get online at all today, but I had a business email to write and lately the only time I get to be alone in the living room is in the early morning before I go to work. I signed on to the internet and there he was. I was thinking, ‘hmm…what in the hell is he doing here now? He’s supposed to be gone forever.’ Again I was wrong. I checked my email and found what he sent me. You know, one of the best things about this man is his eloquent use of the English language, but I digress. I could sit here all day and ramble on and on about how great he is. So we talked about what happened yesterday and after a short chat, everything was ok. Nothing had really changed except some of our plans, but they had to change. Change can be good.

Now all is well. Assumptions be damned. We’re still going meet sometime this fall. In fact, I’ll probably be going to England to see him instead of him coming to the US. Once I started thinking about this prospect, I was excited. I love England. In fact, I’ve wanted to move over there for a few years now, but really had no reason for going other than I just wanted to go.
Of course, I’m not sure how my parents are going to feel about me going to England and staying which may very well happen. Earlier this year, they were not keen on me going to Philadelphia to live. I guess they will just have to deal with it. I figure, if I’m happy, they’ll be happy. I’ll have to sell my house and get a job, but that’ll happen when it’s time.

I also had a much better day today as well. In fact, work is going splendidly I must say. The ‘annoying’ co-worker and I have made a truce. The interim lab manager and I had a little chat today about things and it’s good that he’s on board with the ideas I have to help their lab. He also told me that I wouldn’t have to write SOP’s which really put my mind at ease.

The weather here in Bethel is still overcast and rainy. I swear, it doesn’t feel like July at all, but more like October in New Mexico. I’ll be getting home in October so it’ll be like having one long fall for me. I love fall! And who knows, I might be in England for fall, Halloween and my birthday! May we celebrate the whole month of November.

Advice for the day: Never make assumptions!